Amusing advice to people who aren't listening

I've been known to dish out advice (no, really!) and I'm aware that the people it's aimed likely aren't listening. And those who are listening are probably the folks who don't need it. But, at least, they share my mixture of amusement and righteous indignation.

I'm sure Mighty Girl doesn't harbor any delusions that the coffee shop troll hogging the four-person table and nursing a latte for three hours while he downloads gargantuan files over the cafe's WiFi is paying attention. (Of course he's not; he's too busy loudly yammering on his cell phone.) But she's written some advice for him you might find amusing. Particularly if he's been hogging the wall outlet you'd like to get at with your laptop charger.